Carriage Clip Art

For Better or Worse: Making Your Marriage Survive Parenthood

According to the song, love and marriage should go together like a horse and carriage. The song doesn’t account for kids, because if it did, it would mention something about the carriage ride being somewhat bumpy at times, especially on a marriage.

“Kids can add a number of stresses to a marriage,” said Brittany Edge, licensed marriage and family therapist. “The addition of a child is a major transition for couples, and often times, it is not navigated well. Kids can add financial strain and time constraints to a family, and they absolutely add to the number of activities the family participates in.”

A major change such as the addition of a child can add enough stress to interfere with everyday functioning, according to Edge.

So how can couples deal with this stress?

“It is important for couples to make their relationship a priority and to not let the relationship be taken over by all of the demands of parenting,” Edge explained. “Couples should try to arrange daily, or weekly, check-ins with their spouse, to plan date nights, and to maintain some space that is just for them. These kinds of efforts can help spouses feel more connected and supported by each other.”

According to Edge, couples should spend time communicating with each other by talking about their relationship, how they feel about their parenting skills, what they would like to change or remain the same.

“Prioritizing this type of communication is especially hard, but without it, many parents get lost in just the ins and outs of parenting. Before they know it, their kids are in college, and they do not recognize the person they married," Edge said.

Individually, parents can cope with the stress they feel by practicing stress management techniques and taking care of themselves, according to Edge. “Self-care is one of the most important things parents can do for themselves and for their children and spouse. “

Edge explained a number of stress management techniques, including:

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Article by Adeline

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