Vertical Wind Tunnels

John Walsh: Hey - that's Eric Idle at the next table

I'm just back from Los Angeles, where they make up their own rules about reality. Where your lovely hostess asks if, being British, you'd like a proper full English breakfast and you find that the bacon you're eating is Turkey Bacon, (with, according to the label, "50 per cent less fat than pork bacon") and the strangely sweet sausage is, duh, Chicken Apple Sausage (equally less fat-bearing than that awful pork stuff) and the salt you grind over your eggs isn't any old sea salt, it's Trader Joe's Himalayan Pink Salt Crystals (product of Pakistan).

This is the city which leads the world, not just in plastic surgery, but in body hair management – the famous Pink Cheeks emporium, which introduced the world to anal bleaching and age-appropriate bikini waxes a few years ago, now advertises women's pubic hair tints ("What we don't wax, we can age away with darkening") and brown eyelash tinting for the mature gentleman (he doesn't appear to qualify for the pubic tint, though I didn't actually enquire).

This is where grooming parlours are named after famous LA hotels (a dog-beauty place called Chateau Mar-mutt) or Las Vegas crooner venues (a hairdresser called Scissors Palace). This is where the trendiest entertainment is at something called Beacher's Madhouse in the Roosevelt Hotel, where the stage is filled with leprechauns, Oompa-Loompas, gangs of Seven Dwarfs and humans wearing bunny, panda and pink gorilla costumes, and lady punters are all cleavage and stockings, and you're encouraged to dance with both on a "go-go platform"; the two USPs of this fun-free zone are that 1) the audience is restricted to no more than 50, and 2) you can hire a table for the evening only if you buy a bottle of vodka costing $500 – though the pain of this expense is mitigated by your having one of the show's bewigged midgets slide down a wire to serve the bottle in your lap.

This is where everyone new in town is encouraged to try the iFly experience, in which you're divested of your clothing, crammed into blue overalls, kitted out with a helmet, goggles and earplugs, lectured on the positioning of your limbs, then put inside a high vertical wind tunnel on which your splayed-out body moves up and down as if you were skydiving, and your every twist and wobble is greeted with sarcastic cheers by the crowd of passers-by who've paused in the street to watch you; it's quite fun, until you're given the cruel photographs at the end, and discover what the high-pressure wind has done to your sagging cheeks...

Hoover Anniversary vertical wind tunnel, bag, U5491900 Anniversary ...

Hoover Anniversary vertical wind tunnel, bag, U5491900 Anniversary feel the wind tunnel with ergonomic bag
Review by Doctor Z : Embeded dirt finder is the coolest thing ever in a vacuum

We bought this vacuum based on the good reviews but I just had to write another one after using it. When I started using the vacuum I thought the "embeded dirtfinder technology" was the biggest gimmick there was. After using the vacuum for a few minutes I realized that it actually works. There two lights (one red and one green) on the lower left corner of the vacuum and they switch from red to green when the carpet is actually clean. I thought to myself "yeah right" but when using it, the light stayed red for a long time in high traffic areas of my house but in the spare bedroom where no one ever walks it was green almost right away. I really worked harder on those high traffic areas to get that solid green light and I really feel like my carpet is clean now. Give it a try - it makes vacuuming much more entertaining.

Hoover Anniversary vertical wind tunnel, bag, U5491900 Anniversary feel the wind tunnel with ergonomic bag
Review by Cecil C. Persons "GEEmerson Fanman" : Nice Vacuum!

The Hoover Windtunnel has an awesome suction for a value-priced unit. I bought the vacuum for use in a 1400 sqft condo, and it's the perfect size. It works very well on carpet, and fairly well on tile or hardwood floors. The only concern that I have so far is that the belt broke after only about 2 hours of total use. However, I think that it was caused by a small area rug getting caught in the agitator brush within the first hour of use. The motor drive is only a thin rod that the belt sits on, so anything that stops the brush can result in belt damage. I've been carefull not to let that happen again, and haven't had to replace another belt yet. The dirt indicator light works well, because it shows dirt in high traffic areas, but very little in low use areas. The model I bought isn't self-propelled, but the agitator brush pulls it forward on carpet making it easy to handle, and the vacuum rolls easily on bare floors. I don't think that the self-propelled feature is needed. I'm impressed so far, it's a great value for the price.

Hoover Anniversary vertical wind tunnel, bag, U5491900 Anniversary feel the wind tunnel with ergonomic bag
Review by C. F. Hill "CFH" : Very Good Vacuum! Highly Recommended!

LIFE

The NCAR Vertical Wind Tunnel, a vertical wind tunnel for controlling the motion and environment of atmospheric particles

Popular Science

The CSIRO vertical wind tunnel, a vertical wind tunnel for the investigation of the aerodynamic and combustion behaviour of firebrands at their terminal velocity

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